*DUCKIE!I♥travelling♥mushroom♥chilli♥foodie♥singing♥europe
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*DUCKIE! I♥travelling♥mushroom♥chilli♥foodie♥singing♥europe |
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neh//
Monday, 29 October 2007 @ 00:02 NOT MY FAVOURITE PICTURE ;D "It felt good to get out of the house today. Well, what to say about this few weeks and days? But that it is horrible. And I did not enjoy them. I was emo during a lot of the time. Wrote lots of emo stuff. They all sounded pleasantly nice to me but it's too many to be in the blog plus I only say them in my head, then I forget about them already. But they are beautiful composed pieces of emo writings. It's not fun to be paranoid, but I am afraid I am. I cannot help not remembering a lot of events. It does feel as if the world has a grudge against me forever. But like I said in my msn: "Sometimes life isn't what we all want, but face it, it is reality." I really feel like putting in my emo lines and scripts but I guess I'd better not haha. Maybe another time... It's really late right now, and I have to snoo |
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stylistic beginnings//
Thursday, 18 October 2007 @ 23:35 I guess all I ever wanted was for you to love me
Look at me Glance at me Look at me bristling with pride But then everytime when I fail or break your heart, Everything seems to have shattered, Disappeared. When the glory I so-called have earned Seems to have all vaporate on the spot. It's so depressing to lose what you have always wished for. It's in times like these When I need you more Where you need to be encouraging, empathetic, and understanding. But somehow, all I ever seem to end up is with fear. Confusion. Sadness. And standing at a loss. Oh, my saviour, Will you save me? My precious gem stone, Will you look after me? My dearest, Will you forgive me? |
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hm.//
Sunday, 14 October 2007 @ 23:48
Well! The weekends are over once again. It has been really wild, wacky and weird. I mean like Saturday, no tuition, YAY! But was spending the day at home I think. Cannot remember. And epim* sent me a reply. Well, today I have at last, let go of him. I said goodbye. Ok lemme start properly. Saturday. nothing much to report, no tuition, spend the day at home I think haha. Yeah then went service. Service was great. Service is always great! But I think I wasn't exactly paying attention much. Was sort of busy in a way, during the sermon. :P! BUT I did listen to some parts! However, I liked the last part the best! Everyone or almost everyone gathered infront to sing haha. And after service was fun! Seeing Joyce and Kenneth wrestle over his cap haha! Then Kenneth disappeared! Lol! Was looking for him for a while. I went back home really late and didn't watch Chicago but at least I had fun! :D! Then Sunday, today I was super late with meeting Charm, Jodie, Rachel, Karin and Joyce. Anyway, I drank this Mango juice that made me high during Word. Haha. Yes, I was doing word with Charm haha. It was hilarious! Because there were scenes where you had to act out and Edlyn and Ah Lee did the roles! Lol! Yea, and um I stayed super long today at church. Then went back home for a while and go to Suntec to had dinner haha. I came back about 8 o'clock just to watch Taxi! Haha. And then I went to reply epim*'s email. I told him it was goodbye for us. And all. I was really calm about it. Yup, so that is all! Tmr going out with Kenneth and Vic! Wheeee! I wonder what awaits us! Lol. Anyway, Ciao everyone! I need my beauty sleep too! Au revoir! :D! |
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Founders' DAY//
Friday, 12 October 2007 @ 23:29 OMG TODAY WAS.... OH MY... (: Lol. Today was nuts la. I woke up at like about 9 plus and started going online. Halfway through got a call from piggy saying what... 10 minutes meet him at Sing Post and I was like O.O!!! That pig KEESIAO arh! But oh wells, gather all of my crap and went to sing post haha. Sing Post was near my house but also boring haha. Spent a while there with piggy and vic then went to PS. We were at PS like 12 something. Ate the same thing again at PS, sliced fish bee hoon noodle, with milk haha. I'm getting a bit sick of that already. Then we had ice cream at gelare. Well Vic was complaining about having an ice cream and I was playing a game on Piggy's phone for almost like the whole time. Lol. Played and played til I had to go school. Yeah, today WAS Founders' Day and school started at 3.30pm -.-''' Founders' Day was boring not to mention a waste of time. Still, it was rather fascinating I guess. I mean, look at it from my perspective. We had to sit in the canteen. Then later because I didn't bring my tie so I joined some people who also never brought their ties and stood at the back. Mind you I was already yawning and falling asleep. So I guess standing up wasn't so bad and wow I stood for like so long, :O. And the Guest-Of-Honour was the Minster of Defence. Heh. He very tall leh. I stand from the back already can see his face leh! Somemore during price ceremony everyone looked like a midget. But the camera cheated, they show from some angle downwards... OIE! If the guy is tall then tall la! Don't try to hide lor. So obvious haha. Somemore looking at him like meeting someone from the tv in real life leh. Like I really meet or see him or something, kinda cool if ya asked meh. :P Overall, Founders' Day was boring. The Primary school principal talk so much and so long, she herself got bored during the last year's head perfect speech heh, that's how we all felt, Madame! Luckily, Mrs lee didn't talk much. She also didn't sound too happy saying the report. Er but somewhat expected :P. The thing lasted so long, my first time staying up so late in school! Lol! And last minute, they came to announce that we had no school on Monday. Haha. Yay! I wanna go out..... Hopefully with someone really special :P. Cheerio people. Au revoir Y |
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Goodness!//
Monday, 8 October 2007 @ 21:50 Dear old dear me, I have fallen ill. Sandy throat and cough not fairly pleasant for my health. Lol. Okay I think I have those symptoms since I have received back my "AWESOME" results. I think you need to pray for me, I'm gonna die like very badly and horribly, yes you do. Or perhaps, another reason is as you can read from the previous entry, the stuff about him. Okay, for safety purposes, I will not use his REAL name. I will be pronouncing him with a nickname. Let's just use the name epim*. Okay so let's just say there's some history between epim* and me. Like we started out way way way back. Yes when my hair's not as it is now. All long and scary like a witch, he was there, while it was still neat and short. It was fun while it lasted, we talked a lot. Then he said he liked me. I don't know how that happened it all seems so blurry now to talk about it. So yeah. But the main thing is, epim* disappeared like halfway when we were talking. And he disappeared for like 2 or 3 years. Dearest ladies and gentlemen, 3 years or 2 years IS LONG. Please note, I repeat, it IS LONG. It may not be long to you, but in this story of mine, it is. I hope I have established that fact in my story. Moving on, epim* came back like after the 2 or 3 years. It is a shock and surprise to me, because I thought that we have like half forgotten each other. And it never exactly came to me that he would remember me. But he did. Which was quite a delightful thought to the mind. And he said that he knew that somehow I would remember him too. Do you call that instinct or just the 6th sense? Okay. So far, it has been an extremely bumpy ride with him. I'm sure you'd want to know why. Lemme just educate you a bit on that. You see, like I emphasised, 2 or 3 years IS LONG. Whether you like it or not. So of course, we both would have "moved on". You know how time can "make the heart grow fonder" and in the end also it can "nurse a wound". So in my case, I guessed it was the "fonder of the heart", and then the "nursing of the wound", get the picture? I hope you did. (: And to put it even more pleasantly, epim* actually has a girlfriend. Yes that's right. The "girlfriend" the one whom you share a love relationship with, that's where all the RA stuff comes in, yes that one. You got it, my dears. And the best part of the story is, he never told me. That's one. And the second one, he told me it was a dare and for a week only, these are the golden words: told me it was a dare, for a week only" Unfortunately, it must been more a than a week. And you know when you suspect about something and the suspect gets like suspiciously coincidental? Don't know what I'm mumbling about? Ok, try this situation: epim* told me that he was RPing (RP stands for RolePlay) with this girl and that it was a dare for only a week, after the week, the thing's off. Okay, I trusted him. But halfway like around coming to almost in the middle of the weekend, he suddenly comes up to me, tell me that he is moving house and that he WILL not be able to access his computer or the internet. I was a bit suspicious like why didn't he tell me this before? He insisted that I wasn't online much so cannot tell me, can't even leave me a bloody offline msg or something. Fine, whatever. So guess what? The week is OVER! His girlfriend, unfortunately, I have just spoken to has told me everything like they have been together for 2 months. Tell me people, is it coincidence? He never appeared anymore at all. Is it so coincidently that he suddenly has to move house like out of the blue? Now now we really have to ponder over that, don't we? (: So the story continues to where it recently is. I have so-called "spam" his email box. And waiting rather paitently for a reply, also dreading a reply. If you're wondering what are some of the contents of the email, it's mainly just really messy and unorganised information being piled into messy unsettled paragraphs. There's a lot of stuff about me and some of the other things and um well yeah. Talking to his girlfriend was fun but also a bit disturbing and she problems too you know, because it so happened that some other girl also likes epim* and she is pestering the girlfriend to leave him alone. And the stuff she let us see about what she sent him is totally gross. But it's much lighter than RA stuff, not so um obscene, but still bad. I guess this is how the story ends, do you feel enlightened? I feel better after talking it out. That's what a blog is for right like duhhh. So far I think lots of people know about it. My family (The one mentioned in my blog), 4 people from church yes. And um 2 of my school friends? Yup. So far they all know about it. And thanks to all whom have given me great advice and strength! I just want you all to know that, whatever happens, I will turn to God for help for he is the only one whom can help me too. And don't worry please, I won't do anything foolish. I'm still mentally sane even though I may act retarded and mentally ill, c'mon you guys know me deep inside, don't deny, you know you do. (: |
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Pain was my best friend today.//
Thursday, 4 October 2007 @ 21:53 Pain was my best friend today. (The Verdict)
Pain was my best friend today. And she was with me all the way. She came around at 8 somewhere And stuck me hard in my face. I was stressed and bothered by her existence. But nothing I could do, could increase my resistance. She wouldn't leave me even when i got my papers today. She was grinning from ear to ear ominously. Whispering annoying things into my ears, Laughing like mad when she saw my bio grades. However, she wasn't too happy at my chem, for she was frowning, kicking and cursing. She yelled and hurling vulgarities at me. I ignored her and watched her with glee. She went cloud nine when I had my math back. She wouldn't stop for she was like HECK! Enjoying every moment of my humiliation, Savouring every taste of my vaporated determination. Then she kept reminding me about him. Taunted me about his awful betrayal. She cut my toes and broke them in, Bite my arms and twisted them hard. I was exhausted but she was not. And I was perspiring for I was hot. Still, she refused to leave me all alone, Even when I was at home. The thoughts of him filled my head. Tears stung my eyes as I struggled with the weight, I couldn't take it, it was too pain. My heart was crushed under the weight of the pressure. I clutched my face and pulled my hair. And she was there. Going on like a mad lunatic. Armed with a bible and a cross. I held my ground and glared at her. She was scared and was at loss. Now it was my turn to laugh at her. She howled and howled and burst into flames. She was the devil, and hell was she evil. The End. |
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