You know how you guys out there always have dreams?

Even I have dreams too. No matter how ridiculous they are. You may laugh at them, you may mock me. You may even empathise and sympathise with me. But whatever you do, they are my dreams and I'm going to tell you about them right now.

I hate it when reality kicks in because, they really did today and yesterday. But more effect today. I haven't confirm it yet but I must tell you, it really sucks and the best thing was that this conversation was on.

Just nice, on Tuesday, I had a nice long chat with Korkor. And I talked so much about my life. My first time in years, actually talking to someone who will listen to me, no matter how boring I am. And I felt like it was the first time I could be so blunt, so plain, so me. Without having to feel shy, be mocked at, I really really liked that feeling and for that, I would like to thank him in this blog, if he ever sees it. (:

So then, on Wednesday, it was sucky. Really. After the whole nice episode with Korkor, the following day got work, I think both of us got work haha. But I can still awake up lols. I'm proud of myself :P. Actually it's like saying I'm proud of lacking in sleep hahaha. But then actually yesterday could have been an awesome day if only I did not miss debates. But I did and also, yesterday, when I was working, I was alone. I did the dish washing myself. And I think I spent like 10am all the way to around really 6pm, really just standing there, washing dishes. I met this nice guy working there. Should be harmless to say his name? Okay let's give him a nickname. Let's call him N.

Well, I noticed on that day itself that I was wearing a black shirt and he was too. So that was like um okay. Haha. But I must admit he really is a nice guy because he helped me in the cleaning of the stuff for most of the day. There was another nice person too, she's a girl, senior in TP, awesomeness but she stayed til one so yeah, but I appreciate her help too.

Then like I said, Wednesday sucks because I missed debates and the worst thing is after the shift right, it was starting to pour so then I had to run, got wet, rushed for debates then later, I was told not to come so a big fat down arrow for me :((

Then today, Thursday, well, I must say it was a hell lot of a better day. Woke up nice and refreshing because of the rain, it was cool. Then had fishball noodles for breakfast before setting out to work, and thought I thought I was going to be late for work, I wasn't haha. Well, when I arrived at work, um the nice girl was there already and I came a few minutes earlier than N. And the first thing again I noticed was that, I was wearing a yellow shirt and so was he. So I asked him, "Is it just me or we are wearing the same colour shirt again? Hahaha, yesterday you wore a black shirt, so did I and today I wear a yellow shirt and so did you." Freaking awesome man. Haha. He said he didn't noticed. Haha.

Yup so then, today was really better because halfway I had help from someone else so it's better in the sense.

Now, back to what I said, the dreams part and reality. This N guy that I have just met. He reminds me of Joel. Yes. Joel Lee ZJ. I think it's the same hair and they sort of behave like the same. Anyway, so then, I had a conversation with N. And I really hate it because. This N guy, he has the characteristics of a dream guy that I threw away.

My dream guy according to my dreamy desires when I was young and innocent and so ambitious. I wanted to marry a guy from the UK. And I preferably like if it's the strongest currency, Pounds. So yeah he does. And I hope that my guy is one year older than me, is blond, taller, slim, lean. He has perfect eyesight too. He score all the points and he is here in Singapore. I don't really care about the blue eyes stuff, I'm flexible on that. :D.

Okay so the majority of you mad crazy girls would ask me to grab him and never let him go but the thing is, when this dream came to me. I wasn't feeling excited. Happy or whatever, I just felt nonchalant. Like matter-of-factly. And he was talking to me about my dreams and I told him that reality and dreams never clash for me. So ironic.

I know why i dont feel anything. Goes to show I really have thrown them away. I had dreams like I want to be a model, singer, actress, be like coco, makes clothes and all. But of course, they are just dreams. We can pursue them with our hearts. I also wanted to be a multi-talented musician, and other things too like an air-stewardess, tourist guide?

So I'm just feeling miserable maybe. A part of me feels sad, another doesn't. It's like I'm numb.

Numbness has to go sleep now, sorry for abrupt ending.