"I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the things that you do
I want to walk but I run back to you
That's why I hate myself for loving you"

Haha, I guess that's one way to describe how I feel.
There are others which are really comical.
Life is like that.
However, the life that I have. It really is different.

I daydream and dream of this young man that I can love and hold in my hand.
That he will love me and hold me in his hand, we'll be the perfect one for each other.
But I have a problem finding him, and he has a problem finding me.
Each time a perfect candidate like that comes along, he is usually always taken and not for me.
And I always get left, crushed behind.
I find and find and find but gets false hope in return.
There are so many yet I am unsatisfied with all.

Then there is also the forbidden fruit...

"I love you but I gotta stay true
My moral's got me on my knees
I'm begging you
Stop Playing games

I don't know what is this but you got me good
Just like you knew you would
I don't know what you do but you do it well
I'm under your spell

You got me begging for mercy
Why won't you release me
You got me begging for mercy
Why won't you release me
I said release me"

Yes, I hope you understand how I feel. There's no other way else to describe it.
Love you all out there. (:

* Words in Italics are song lyrics