Well, just today, I thought everything was fine and okay already. Like whatever happened, happened in school and that was that. Then in the end, it was a lie.

I guess I can't mix with the majority of the people because well, it's the common thingy I guess. I don't have that, even if I do, I don't have it with a lot of people.

Like I don't believe in peer pressure so I don't do all the things that people do, that maybe even my sisters try to do. I don't do that too. Peer pressure is like... it doesn't have much effect on me. And right now, I feel like daddy has abandoned me but I don't blame him. He's tired and I am suppose to be tired too and sleeping and yet, what am I doing?

I am in not a good mood and I hate certain things like people giving me orders and things that I don't like to do. It really sucks. That's what my parents do. Rarely will you ever hear a request, gentle request, soft things, and it's just so weird that they have this phrase 'practise what you preach' when people don't do it.

Sigh, I am just so filled with anger and sadness, I really want to just run away from it all. People really only think of themselves. It is just terrible. Sigh, I guess I'm not actually suppose to blog because I'm afraid I'll offend people here. But it really sucks maybe I should say what happened. What I feel.

I know that I talk too much. So much that well, I guess people don't like it lor. To put it simply. I am weird in that way. But hey, it's not like I'm never listening, is it? I do keep quiet too. Okay but... Sigh, character conflict within me. I will just hush up because I don't know what to do. Don't think about it then. I am going to sleep. And leave the problems of the world aside and away from me.

-

duckie, troubled, upset, sad and miserable...

I've finally sort out my issues.

Well, I admit that I am a person that can be pretty much over my head at times, I guess a lot of times in fact. But when I sit down and think about it, I really am a perfectionist yet being a perfectionist, I am very alert to all the imperfections.

But then I am forgetting that no matter how perfect I want to be, I doubt that I can be that. And I try to be. In turn, I will look at things that I want, things that are perfect enough for me. Friends, people, everything... But then now that I come to think about it, my secondary school class, the classmates were really over the border for me. Too much for me. And now when I come to settle in Poly, I realise that Poly really is so much better for me. I seem to have suffered the super extremes and when I come to a place whereby the environment is much better or actually about the same because I think it is the same in a way, the people there yet are different. Okay I know I sound mixed up but they are same because they all suffer from peer pressure, something that the majority of our society suffers from but they are different because well, poly people are much more, better in terms of accepting and I think their personalities. That's in my Poly faculty.

I think I am the kind of person you would called once bitten, twice shy because for me, when i experience something new, i will be lost about it initially then second time we meet, dejavu but I will know, I suppose.

This I suppose has inspired me to do well in my course, make good friends, and accept people for their shortcomings in that sense, things that I don't like about them or cannot tolerate. I know that I will have problems tolerating and getting used to it but hey, it's life and life isn't perfect.

Sigh, I hope what I said made sense, today I seem very distracted, not at all like the duckie we all know or at least people know.

Duckie - Deep thoughts.

-*./`~

Hey um it's not SURFBOARDER, it's WEIGHTBOARDER. Hahahaha. (:

And also, orientation is finally over! 3 days felt longer than 3 days! And I kind of miss it, orientation is what I CALL A LIFE! THAT'S THE KIND OF LIFE I WANT! AND I HAVE IT! AND I'M HAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPY! *claps hands*!

Okay so like after 3 long days of orientation, (weds, thurs, fri), Saturday I went to work from like 10am to 10pm. 12 hours at MM. Earn like $71.50. If I was working at the cafe it would be like $84. But the manager was nice, it was hellish though, after orientation still work, yeah i'm crazy and it was like full house also! I forgot to mention that because of all the dancing on friday, I got like the ABs there pain, stomach muscles aching from all the dancing that made me arch my body forward like lean back then arch it forward....

lols, k, nights! Quacking no more! (:

Just bathed and today is the last day of the orientation... so sad.

So we kick start the day with talks, plenty and plenty of talks. Not really lah, haha. But quite a lot and I guess we still paid attention, we had to. And today's the day in which I came to school the earliest! First day came a bit late then second day was like the latest of all then today is like super early, 8 something before 8.30! Whoa.

There was library talks, then carers talk and we had like super nice chicken drumsticks! YEAH! I ate like 5 I think. And also sandwiches. Then somemore talks on CCAs and stuff then later Course Managers' briefing and we get to meet the CPs. There was also lunch! YIPEE. It was rather rushed actually, eat then had to hurry cuz we had to assemble at tp's sports complex.

First thing we had was Mass Dance, sweat like mad like that, my partner was darn hot or cool in that sense, cuz he looked like some muscular hunky polo boy or something or swimmer or i dont know how or what he did, he's damn strong i must tell you, when we were in the field doing the Mass Dance, I think he was so strong he injured my hands. And so we stayed in the field area there being entertained by cheers and all but I think I spent most of the time rehearsing for the performance so I missed a lot of the entertainment but caught a few, there were dragonboating, cheers, cheerleading and then the really cool one was the guy, Matthew Christian or something, Singapore's NUMBER ONE SURFBOARDER! He is damn good, can do flipback while surf boarding!

It was entertaining for awhile, seeing him do the same few things got a bit boring and then later he fell twice and it was funny because i asked my friend, 'he fell down thrice is it?' then she said 'no, twice only' then he fell down and I said 'yea, thrice'.

Well, my sch then performed which was great, so great, in these 3 days of orientation, i felt that i went on stage without embarrassing myself! SO AWESOME! Haha! lols lols. (:

We did all the TP stuff again for the last time, TP song....
And something really disturbing happened. Someone dislocated their knee, it was a girl actually. And to tell you the truth, I know the girl and I didn't like her. But when I saw her, I felt so sad and sorry for her, I'm just so nice, aren't i? Maybe because it was gross and I saw what had happened, her knee had this like ladder tattoo or something there, that's how I know.

Well but overall, it is really good and even though HSS didn't win, we won in our hearts, we had a prize giving ceremony back at the lecture theatres where all the empires got prizes for being what what what, my group got for the transition, our transition was really extremely quiet on the first day to super duper loud on the second and third? And it was because we suddenly had friends lol, it was great! Really! Or should I say, it was AWESOME! Haha! (:

That was pretty much it, I think I'm really tired and I want to sleep le.

I was later today than I was before and when I arrived, well, I already registered that I didn't bring the schedule and my mobile phone. But then I found my Empire very quickly probably because I recognised the people. They were sitting around thinking about what to do for Talent time so yeah we all chipped in ideas and I don't know why but then it seems that I always have the best ideas or something, I'm not trying to self praise but it's true, really. And duh it got chosen.

The theme was remembrance so I thought of don't forget the lyrics then well, everyone else thought about the songs and such, then later we split to go into cheer leading and such, so like til noon, all that I was doing was learning dance moves and practising them. I'm dancing to the song Right Round by Flo Rida, you can go find it if you want. Then I had lunch, before we eat lunch must always say the hungry cheer.... Btw, what's a B-boy?

And we had Amazing Race part 2 it was damn bad, the games were gross in some sense haha. The final clash later was also the worst one, I got like um molested not really, just some guy or somebody touched my sides, so yeah, and my empire suffered humiliation yeah because we know we played fair and the others didn't so yup.

Then we practice for the talent thing, and I am like the main lead! OMG. Haha, I was suppose to sing this fun song in which we were going to do for mass dance, it's called New Age Girl by Deadeye Dick. Then my line is "she don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone" haha, it's really cool, you should really go listen to the song! Haha, dance steps are awesome too. Oh and there's this craze about this word 'Awesome', madness really lol.

And while making my costume, we had dinner lol. After dinner is the talent time show and i was okay haha but i screwed up my line for a bit lols. My group win only for the best actress haha because she imitated one of the MCs lols. Then we had a wheelbarrow competition which was like whoa, haha! Wild and wacky TP song/dance.... yeah. Ended pretty late cuz we got our shirts and they welcomed us into HSS yea.

P.S. I saw someone in a yellow billabong shirt from the back and carrying a light grey bag, the hair is recognisable so is the clothes and his shoes, guess who he is haha!

Ciao, tmr is a damn important busy day!

Hey guys! Omg I still feel the highness flowing within me!

Yes, that's right just came back from orientation day 1!!! Haha!

Um my comments are that orientation is not so bad, it's actually really pretty fun! But well at first, when I just arrived there or going there it was a bit bad because I was already late, my orientation starts at 8.30am la, but then the bus 15 was like ASS, didn't stop there cuz too full le so well yeah.

And when I arrived there, I was like in this Empire (groups are called Empires) called Dakota and a sub-group called Owl..... Weird? The other one is Hawk... Tell me about it! Then I heard that the theme was Tribal so yeah, oh well. And my overall Empire name is Dakota right? It's like some tribal name as they say, in Africa, it's a kinda cool name if you ask me but all I can think about when I first heard of it was Dakota Fanning, you know who she is? She acted in the War of the Worlds I think with Tom Cruise haha.

Then heng arh, our colour is red woots! Haha and I met this friend called Michelle, she's from HSS also, HSS is my school, stands for Humanities and Social Science, but she's in Psy. I tell you, it was quite terrible for me actually, I wanted to go into that course but I must tell you, the people there, I think they are very smart alright, to go into Psy, you need 8 points and below so yea. Michelle got below 8 lols. And our identities are really cute, they are small clips that are in the shapes of like apples or strawberries and this is my identity, our group leader was like saying don't lose it arh! And we were given a red raffia string too, I tied it to my watch cuz when I tied it to my wrist, it keeps coming out, irritating piece of string!

This is my identity which I almost lost in it a girls' bathroom.
And I am an apple called Saturday
. . .
This is the idiotic piece of string, say Hello.

Lol, the dates of the camera something wrong if you noticed. Anyway back to it, I was late but then well, poly is nice always wait for you and you know what, they give you 15 minutes grace to be late! Whoa! So nice! Then we had TP song not too bad.

Early breakfast too, called High Tea in which I ate too many fish balls. Lols.
Ice breakers were a little queer but okay, basically cheered and went in a circle and introduced ourselves, a kind of fun game haha. The game IC is from my school and she behaves exactly like Mrs Tng and my sister and they all 3 look alike in terms of their dressing and the way they behave, I think it must be MEGA Camp lols and I saw Wei Kee there! Fellow school mate! :P!

We were taught the TP Song, Hand-Sign, Dance and we did our flags and cheers lol.
Song= easy and and okay
Hand-Sign= quite interesting but forgot haha
Dance= OH YEAH, we have this like MASS Dance in which I am participating in and you know HSS has more girls than guys as usual and I'm dancing with a guy oh wow.

Then we have lunch again but that was when we were like decorating and painting our flags and making up cheers so we split to do different things. Guess what I did? Lol, I painted, yup it's ironic you'll see why later. We split because like each Empire has about... I don't know mine got like 25 or 26 people so yeah.

Then the GL who was in charge of ours see that we all so quiet haha and uninteractive, we had 12 + GL so she split us up and each group think of an idea and give reasons as to why we chose this, symbolism and what it means to submit. She voted for my mine because my idea was like this, since our Empire is called Dakota, we'll have that right smack in the middle of the cloth for the flag let it be like a flame where it's hot red in the middle like a normal fire then we can have the yellow and orange at the tips, normal fire la. And then the firewood will be HSS. The whole setting is like very tribal because it's like a campfire then there will be this circle, where 26 or 25 people will surround it and they are us, those people, my Empire and GLs, the people's names beside the little people, more like stick men, are our names like my names and the rest of the people in my Empire. Quite creative and an interesting idea right? Lols didn't get chosen though, only the GL chose it. Haha!

Then we had amazing race lol, every time everything also got amazing race lol. Okay this is why it is ironic because halfway through, I thought of a cheer all my myself for my sub-group, because the amazing race is in the subgroups. The cheer that I thought of was the "gimme an..." was by another person in the group.

'Gimme an O' OUTRAGEOUS!
'Gimme a W' WILD!
'Gimme a L' LEARNERS!
'And we are?' OWLS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Haha, nice, cute, short and sweet, I lead the cheer and thought of it myself, sigh. Reminds me of when I was the president for my club and I initiate the stuff and all, that's what I felt. I add the Wooooo in the last part because owls hoot haha. The other cheers were weird and random. But under the name creative, so they were awesome lols.

OH YAR, A LOT A LOT A LOT, seriously A LOT of random outbursts in this first day of orientation! I SWEAR!!!

Then after amazing race, which they say is to let us know how our school lives would be like, it was like the amazing race and that, TP is a damn big school, really, I swear, it is!

Lols and they had this talk on getting us to join the competitions which are dragon boat, cheer leading and "so you think you got talent?" and well, you can laugh if you want but guess which I chose? Haha, don't tell you! WANT TO KNOW, ASK ME YOURSELF! And probably $50 to those who got it right on first guess, haha kidding lols, but you'll get a present.............. maybe :P!

Then after orientation still make us do TP Song, Hand-sign (by then i forgot le) and dance! Lol and we're like whoa siao, tired but then the last part, I guess it's really high and I think what they said is true, doing all those really make you high haha!

Well, and that's all! My first day for Orientation, I pretty much wrote everything down le! (: Can't wait for tomorrow! (:

After listening to the news I have decided to blog. And probably put down my own reflections of what I think of the world.

I realise that the world is like a group of kids at school. They are a clique. Divided into 2 groups, we have the western big kids and the asian kids. The Asian kids reminds me of them like China and India, countries that are still developing are like the toddlers or the kids who are like 2 years old or something then they have rich parents, rich in resources. Singapore is like the country stil in its prime, a bright big kid in the Asian clique.

Then in the western clique, we have the heads of the clique who are the UK and the US, but UK is like the brainy rich kid and US like the kid that ate too much and is rich too. But both are probably rich and smart too. Maybe UK is smarter in the clique then there are the other countries too. US is depicted to me to be a kid that ate too much because it has more land than UK, that is why i see UK as skinny but UK is of course way richer than the US despite it being smaller. Lol, here comes the economic crisis bit, fit that in here. If you can see the link if not ignore and pass on.

Back to the Asian clique, Singapore is like the more or most developed in the Asian clique, it sort of reminds me of the kid in the clique who looks up to the Western kids but it is also happy because it is situated in a place whereby its surrounding clique members look to it as it is rather rich. The other big kids are also Japan and Korea, I don't know how to explain that part but Singapore probably looks to them too, Japan especially, maybe. The Western clique also likes the Japan kid so Singapore will like them too. It does look like that, in a way.

So cliquish haha. Then North Korea reminds me of me, like in a school ground, I am with none and I stand alone. But not exactly, it still has some of my charateristics. Like how I don't give in to peer pressure when everyone does, I don't, that is the similarity. And everyone is trying to reach out to me lol, that's nonsense, my classmates don't quite care. But North Korea has almost every country reaching out to it. Yet then again, I have my friends in school so I am different from North Korea and I cannot compare myself with any other country except the fact that I am a Singaporean so I am the country Singapore, but I don't regard myself as rich and successful as Singapore, especially rich. And we also differ in many places in terms of characteristics in a certain way as well.

I don't quite know what else to say haha, both cliques have their good and bad points I guess. I think I got this idea from Horrible Histories, talking about putting all the countries into cliques haha. The Allies and The Central Powers.

Lol, okay this is so random but it just came into my head lols, and i wondering if i'd get sued for saying this or something, it's just what I think really.

Sigh, back to the news and my own boring little world.

DUCKIE. RAWR.

Me going to watch Odyssey (:

Teddy on my bed (:
PUFFIEEE

I was bored, hmm and I got nothing much to post about. Good Friday was good (: had 2 services for it, one at 9am and the other at 11am, I went for the latter. (: Then went for lunch with my sises and mum. So long never see my dajie le. We exchange hugs. Ate at Vivo btw. (: Then when my sises went off, me and mama went shopping, she bought me a handbag! (: And clothing thingies! (: Had dinner there then went home, that's Good Friday! (:

Saturday, I went for an out of the blue meeting called Sample This! it's so random, and last minute but I went for it anyway, 2 to 5pm. Then later I stayed in Church with Vic, Jerry, Karmen, Janaan and another guy, I dont think i know his name, quite fun really. Stayed til about 6 plus. Then went home for dinner with sis too.

And today, Easter, woke up, go macs with cg eat breakfast then went for service, then had lunch and stayed in church, talking about stuff and playing munchkin, really long game then I went home again.

See, my life. Sigh, tomorrow going to work and finally do my TP, first project, and probably have dinner out. I can so predict my life and then I don't know what I am going to do on Tuesday, probably work and then Orientation days from Wednesday to Friday and then die on Saturday, church on Sunday, Monday school commences, see, I know my life really well so, FULL STEAM AHEAD!

-

Why do I say that? Hmmm it's strange but I have always had dreams of love. And you could say true love or that a guy's being very nice and caring towards me. But of course like I said, it happens when you're dreaming, so WAKE UP DUCKIE!

Lols anyway, this week ain much, I guess there really isn't much to blog about.

And I find myself echoing my friends in a way, viewing love in a new and negative light, I can't blame them or myself, love is complicated, way complicated than you think. And complicated is almost already like an understatement lol. I'm serious, company.

I can share some of my cheesy dreams but they're not only cheesy but corny too I guess. It's my dreams so it's nice to me because it is towards me and for me only lol. But I suppose I will not.

And love is suppose to be innocent in a way, here i am personificating love again, gees im such a sucker for it all once again.

The only thing I can find for to blog is that, it's Good Friday this friday! YAY! And then Easter on Sunday too. Wooheeeeeee! I miss those Easter eggs! (: And one of my friends were like yay, easter! CHOCOLATES CHOCOLATES CHOCOLATE EGGGSS! Haha! And also that I'm really happy because I seem to keep getting my pay one after the other.
Lols, got 131 on the first round and 140 on the second round, i wonder what's the third round and don't get too happy, it's all going to the bank again as always.....

Oh well, cheerios everyone! I'll do something soon enough and find other things to do and blog about, I'm suppose to be very busy but yet, here I am, blogging, Duckie is busy but then, not that busy huh?

(: