Well, I guess today's quite a day I must say.

I was just thinking, am I really that insecure?
One cut and a sharp blade left me an open wound that can never close?

Insecurity and doubt everywhere.
Will I ever have that confidence of opening up and knowing that I am accepted?

Then there's this whole thing about me wanting to know everything and all that.
What are you thinking Jos.
People have their own spaces. You like yours too, don't you?
Oh no, you don't have one. You don't know what's that heh.

But then I feel like I am alone all the time. Why?
I love my friends, my TP group of classmates, the girls. Yet, I feel leftout.
I am like always with friends but always so alone in the group.

Even in church, I wish I could hold up a mirror and look at myself, I see one person standing there. Do I see it? Does the mirror show me what I want to see?

Guess I can't get that image out of my mind. Is this what you get for being alone for so long? I don't know.

Even with Leroy, I feel like I am standing alone too. And if I drag him along with me, he'd be standing alone too. He can't live with that. He needs a social circle with a lot of friends. I look like I could do on my own.

Or maybe I like being in the social circles, just the company but never close to them? I wonder...

But I think I'm close enough? No? Please enlighten me.

It's like living in your ivory tower and seeing everything from the outer perspective.

Will I ever step in? Will I ever be in the circle?
Or it's just me?

Can't decide.

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