Can't catch me.

I wish you were reading this.
I wish I could tell you how I feel.
I feel so confused and lost inside.
I don't really know what I really want.
My hormones are raging out of control.
I really want to tell you how I feel inside.
Sometimes I'm dying to make all the first moves.
But at the same time, I feel so torn to do so or come to a decision.
Because I don't want history to repeat itself.
So I stand aside, wary of what steps I may take.
It has been said before that not making a move is sometimes making a move.
For me, I'm like the king checkmated.
I don't know which square I should step on.
Will you tell me and help me find my way to safety?