Oh dear.

Guys, if you ever take a cab for work NEVER TAKE THE SILVER CAB!
Especially! In case you forget to ask him for a receipt and he just drives off like that! Honestly!

Feeling miserable over being imperfect. Little things like that I can't even do probably. HOW AM I GOING TO DEAL WITH BIGGER THINGS?! HONESTLY! I'm going to make a new habit now. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS AND FOREVER. Get a receipt by the end of every transaction. KNOW what you paid for and for HOW MUCH. Then you can see the value of the item and whether it's worth it or you just overspent.

Wish we could do the same thing for friendships and relationships sometimes. But we can't because these things aren't measurable. We can't put numbers and digits on these things. They only matter because they are things that we feel. There's no measure on emotions. These things are what we call tangible. Tangible always reminds me of debates. This one reminds me of the rapist debates.

Ask you a question, how would you punish a rapist? Give him a number of years in jail? Or kill him? If your reaction is Whoa when I typed Kill him. Then let me ask you, when someone rapes you, against your will, are you scarred for life? Or do you get over it? It's like trauma victims. Can they ever get over it? That's the question. How do you measure? How do you balance out? THERE'S NO BALANCING TANGIBLE STUFF! Bad means bad. There's no little bad or some bad. It's just bad! That's all! It's still ultimately the same thing! Bad!

Anyway now just wait for her to shake her head at me and bitch at me. Just say my dad came to pick me up lah. Or something. I'm okay. I'm a big girl now (whatever my mum says to confuse me then hit me. "You're a big girl now" "But you small girl"... wtf)

I miss you... Again.
I know you hate me or you dislike me when I'm needy
I can understand that because I hate him and dislike him when he was needy too
Difference is, we're in a r/s
He was just my little bro but I gave him every right to feel that way
And who best to understand him than I do?
Then me, his older sister.

There are so many things I want to tell you about.
I don't want to say them over a medium where I cannot see your response.
Yet I am shy enough to not be so open with you.
I don't know if that's a good thing.
But that's what I want to talk to you about.
I do like you and have feelings for you&everything.
Please, just don't take advantage of that.
Please don't take advantage of me.
Please treat me well.

I don't want you to be like...




like...



him...